Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
