carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
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