Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
