I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
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