come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize