We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
