Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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