YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
