There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
they're like a gay fantastic four
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
I love you. Go after that dick
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
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