Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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