her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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