She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Randomize
