She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
Randomize
