Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
