Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
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she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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