I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Randomize
