I can tuck mytits in my pants
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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