a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
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