I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize