Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
