pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
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