Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Randomize
