I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
Randomize
