if only i could text you this smell
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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