ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
