i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your like the ambassador to my penis.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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