dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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