Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize
