Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
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