what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
I just found a bag of teeth...
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
