I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
