dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize