We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Randomize