Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Randomize
