remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Randomize
