Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
Randomize
