batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
