Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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