think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
your room smells of hookers.
And success
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
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guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
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