So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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