So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
In America we eat man semen.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
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