Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
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