drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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