Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize
