Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
