obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
Randomize
