Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize