I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
