From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Randomize
