I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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