Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Randomize
