Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
