Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
they need to just BURY HIM!
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Randomize
