anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
