I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
Randomize
