So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Randomize
