I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
