I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Randomize
