My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
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