Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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