Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
