The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
