wake up i wanna do it froggy style
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Mom said you looked used
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
