tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
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